Personal Promise: The Secret to Discipline

With just a few days left in 2020, I, like many, have been in reflection of the year shifting behind us.  Significant themes of this year have covered a vast array of focal points.  From reshaping our individual response during these times of high stress to shifts in assumed societal / professional expectations to individual care and fulfillment, we've all been asked to reevaluate our priorities.  The fragility of health has been a catalyst of thought and review.  The importance of family; the concept of safety, joy, and fulfillment in our days; and even the prevalence of stress in our lives have all come up for many around the world.

Even our perception of rest, either a means of coping or as a form of resistance, has received a facelift.  The sustainability of the individual is not guaranteed when we are concerned solely with productivity and creation for mass consumption.  So this year, many of us freaked out, restructured our lives, focused on hobbies and causes that were important to us, lost jobs, found new careers, started working for ourselves, and even took a break.

What a whirlwind!

Even though rest and receiving are extremely important elements of personal sustainability, the recovering perfectionist in me is also in review of the inverse: Discipline & Productivity.

Now, again, with 3 days left in 2020, I am doing the thing that I've been encouraging everyone around me not to do. Comparing myself to others.  So-and-so has launched these projects, Ol'Dude has purchased a new home, and Whats-her-name just made a Facebook post about being debt-free.  And congrats to each and every one of them!  There's no jealousy, but inquisition.  What is the key to success?  No... not success... Discipline.

You see in order to complete a goal, you don't need the perfect plan, you just need perfect execution. This may be a statement of controversy, but perfect execution, in my opinion, is simply getting to completion.  My dear friend, mentor, and coach, Venus Piñeyro de Hoyos, says, "Don't let perfect get in the way of good." And so many of us do so.  If you don’t get up to the top of the Mountain taking “the perfect path,” then you’re not “doing it right.”  The top of Mount Everest is still the top summit.  A bullseye is still a bullseye.  If you have a goal and a path, that’s 75% of the work.

Commit to getting it done and "git 'er done."  Start every day with the focus on getting the task at hand to completion. Consistency.

Phew. Simple enough right?  Perfect execution is consistency toward your goal. Consistent Execution.  Continually having forward motion. That works perfectly... if you're a robot.  But we're human!  Not every day is the same, emotions aren't constant, and motivation has the ability to be fleeting.  Maybe you think to yourself, "I've started so many things... I never finish anything... I just don't have the energy today..."  So many possibly valid reasons to not.

But that's all in your head.  It's certainly been in mine.  When it comes down to it, one of the earliest points of defeat or suspension of goal-oriented ascertainment is what you believe.  If a man believes he is dumb, he'll never learn.  If you believe you can be successful, the world is your oyster.  We'll leave limiting beliefs for another article, but what comes forward is this lead-weighted disbelief at one's ability to accomplish. 

What if I don't trust myself to do it?

Self-trust is defined as "the firm reliance on the integrity of yourself." Being whole and undivided.  Your integrity is so strong there's no doubt that once you say you want it, you got it. (Thanks Ariana.). You can rely on that undivided intention more than anything else.

So what do you do when you don't have that?

Well, thanks to Nigel of Pioneering Well, I have a solution that was profoundly impactful for me.  That my friends is a Personal Promise.

Now, if you take an internet search there are many different interpretations of a personal promise, but let me give you the one that resonated with me.  A Personal Promise is an intention or vow that you make to yourself to fulfill every day. 

“I promise to myself that I will...”

Seems simple enough right?  Now I highly recommend that your personal promise be something that you can easily keep up or add into your life with a high probability of repetition.  This isn't a situation where you vow to run 2 miles every day when you haven't been walking around the block for months.  It can be something small, but it must be impactful. 

My first personal promise was to brush my teeth every evening before I go to sleep.  Every evening I would make the commitment to take care of myself before I close my eyes.  My days are usually full of service to others and holding space, so this was an intention for my care to always have a place in my routine no matter what. Simple, easy, impactful. And I kept it up!  I was simultaneously getting shit done!  I was researching for my future business endeavors, working and saving, and I was highly motivated! 

Then one night, I was "too tired" to walk 5 steps to the bathroom.  Too exhausted to put toothpaste on my toothbrush. (Truly, I hate that part.)  Excuses were made.  "It's only one night."  "I've been doing so well."  "I'll just get back on track tomorrow."  But one night became a second one, and consistency became erratic. I know the importance of dental health, but what was more important was the impact of breaking that promise to myself. Not just with brushing my teeth in the evening, but with my projects, the drive or the energy shifted.  I wasn't keeping up with my research, my planning came to a halt, and suddenly what had a life of its own of creation and development became plans in a notebook on a shelf.

It's important to note that this thing can change!  Consistent revisitation is a means of reigniting that flame.  Am I getting the same invigoration that I once did? Am I still feeling motivated?  Is another action really igniting my excitement?  It behooves you to follow your inspiration.  Once I found myself out of alignment, not working towards my goals, it was apparent I needed to recalibrate to my purpose.  A key marker of success is a growth mindset.  You can refocus and try a new path instead of giving up.  (But get curious about why you hit roadblocks.)  Reevaluate the priorities and revise the promise.  

So the first promise didn’t speak to me deeply. However, waking up and taking 5 - 15 minutes to breathe intentionally without looking at my phone has stuck.  There’s also underlying importance for my emotional and mental health.  It’s a two-fer and has given me the option to actively choose myself in a way that is also nourishing!  I’ve been recommitted for the past 3 weeks, and it’s been a game-changer. I’m not even cutting folks off on I-35 anymore! And my self-care routine is more complete than it’s ever been. Which I believe is due to putting myself first every day!

Bottom line: It works.  Because you reinforce to yourself that I can do what I set my mind to.  And that is a secret of successful people everywhere.  They don't worry about the hows, they decide they are going to do a thing with no doubt whatsoever.  Because everything they've said they'd do, they've done.

So, what is your personal promise?  Name the first thing that comes to mind.  If you’d like to give it a try, you can share your personal promise in the comments!

Just be intentional and purposeful about it.  That promise can be to look in the mirror and speak your affirmations looking yourself in the eyes with confidence. (That can take 20 seconds out of your day.) It can be to spend 5 minutes mindfully breathing before you get out of bed.  It can be to visualize all the things you're going to accomplish or create in your day while you stir your coffee.  Ten push-ups before bed. One hundred squats a day, or even to stretch after your workout to protect your body.

Overall, what you want is the continued resonance of this trust of self... In a physics sense, resonance is "a short-lived subatomic particle that is an excited state of a more stable particle."  You want a habit of resonance.  Even if daily, it only takes a moment, you want consistent excitement in trust of the self in the particle that is you.  A habit is what defines the state of being.  Creating a habit of reinforcing trust in yourself is the first step to discipline. 

Now, I know, we're not talking Mount Everest yet! But think about it.  How do you eat an elephant?

We’ll be looking further into Self-Trust, rebuilding trust, and discipline this month!  Feel free to Like this page and subscribe via the link in the about section to be in the know.

And Happy New Year!